Lost Love

Dedicated to Prabal Panjabi

My mind is empty, if empty is what you call a head full of memories I’ve tried incessantly to erase,
I expected you to be like the rest, you ended up lasting longer than any other phase.

Your presence was my sanctuary; I worshipped your every ideal,
That I could have discovered you in this lifetime, the entire realisation seemed so unreal.

With you being around me, entities like time ceased to exist,
Your absence was marked by the blade flowing freely on my blood stained wrist.

Days passed by, drenched in obscurity, I recall being conscious only when you were around,
I was intoxicated with every dose of this addiction called ‘love’ that I had found.

I spend each moment in numbness...I’m completely devoid of any feeling,
No was a word too brutal for me, I haven’t yet begun healing.

I wanted to leave this place, just the way you left me, but how can one end life without oneself being among the living,
I wish you’d come and revive me, I’d take you back this instant, I’m still as forgiving.

You’ve always brought out the best in me, and now you attract the worst,
You became the origin of my life’s purpose, and then you stopped me from quenching my thirst.

If desertion was your only plan, those three weight filled words why did you say?
What was the need to show me how to be happy, and then instantly take it all away?

What you gave me was indescribable, and never can I love another again,
When all I ordered from you was love, why did you have to deliver only pain?

I’m not human enough anymore, the part of me that mattered the most has been forsaken,
If this is what love feels like, then I pray anyone considering it is not mistaken.